4 Questions You Must Ask Yourself before Judging Others

Why Are People So Judgmental? 4 Questions You Must Ask Yourself before Judging Others

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Have you met anyone who likes to be judged? Do you know the make-or-break questions you must ask yourself before judging others? Unfortunately, most people judge unfairly and destructively. Especially, in this era of social media it’s very easy to judge others based on what you see in your social feed. Sometimes the judgement comes without mercy. No consideration whatsoever! In fact, as your fingers scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed it passes quick subliminal judgements using emoticons and likes.

Unknowingly, you have a new found delight in judging others and awaiting judgement from others. Now your heart easily leaps in joy or drowns in sorrow depending on what emoticon your social media post receives.

Shockingly, many have taken their own lives because of how others judged them. Do you think there’s a better way to judge? Definitely, you will know the right answer after discovering the crucial questions to ask yourself before judging others.

First, What does judging others mean?

In this context, judging others can be described as the act of being hypercritical about others. Usually in a fault-finding, disapproving, negative or condemnatory way.

Check this out:

Now pause for a second and reflect. How many times have you seen, heard or done something similar? Keep reading!

Why are People so judgmental?

Here are some reasons why you may be judging others:

  • You judge others because it is very easy to judge.
  • Judging others has become your habit.
  • You have an unconscious bias.
  • You fail to pay attention. Sometimes you may look but you cannot see. Other times, you hear yet you fail to listen.
  • Hanging out with negative people or people who are always judging others.
  • You may just be close-minded or too stuck in your ways. Somehow believing that everyone should act and think the same way you do.
  • At the moment, you are not happy with your life and how things are going for you.
  • You need to boost your self-worth.
  • Other common personal reasons maybe jealousy, loneliness or insecurity.

Before Judging Others Ask Yourself These

Ways You May be Judging Others:

  • Physically

Do you remember the last time you were judged based on your physical appearance? Sadly, a vast number of people judge a book by it’s cover. Meaning that every discernment is made based on outward appearance.

By default, judgement by physical appearance is the most common way people write others off. Forgetting that looks can be deceiving. Some examples of judging people physically include:

  1.  judging others by the clothes they wear – e.g: “he’s wearing a ripped jeans and a hoodie he’s a thug.”
  2.  hair color or hair style – e.g: “her hair is blue, she must be…”
  3.  facial features/ accessories – e.g: “he’s a nerd because he has braces”
  4. body size etc.

Remember, appearance can be deceiving. Besides, not all that glitters is gold.

  • Morally

Have you ever made a personal attribution on someone’s character or behavior? Judging morally is when you assign labels on people based on how they behaved in a certain event or place.

Assuming you are standing in line at a grocery store and a woman behind you is restless and impatient. You try saying “hi” but she ignores you. Would you quickly assume that she is mean and lacks decency? What if I told you after you leave the store that the woman has a very sick son at home that demanded some yogurt to take his medicine. Even worse, she has been up all night taking care of him. How does that change your view?

  • Ability

Another way way to you judge people destructively is ability-wise. Competence is the keyword when you judge others based on ability. Sometimes you reach your conclusion on others subconsciously. And other times you reach your conclusion of others fully aware. Solely based on how you see someone perform.

Imagine desperately working into a maintenance shop one late evening but don’t get the satisfactory service you expected. As a result, you conclude that the technicians lacks the intelligence or skill to do the job. Next, you head online and give the poor guy a bad review without reaching back out. Could the technician be having a long day? Is he exhausted from helping others all day long? Did you get carried away when he asked to come back the next day? Perhaps everything it was an easy fix that was missed due to your desperation to get home to your family.

  • Socially

You judge others socially by being hypercritical of their culture, gender, race or religion. When you judge people based on social factors it affects how you view them socially.

Nowadays, a lot of social judgement is made via social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook and SnapChat. People hop on these platforms to judge others based on what they post, who they follow, who’s following them, likes on photos, comments and so on.

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4 Questions to Ask Yourself before Judging Others:

The next time you think of judging others, ask yourself these 4 questions:

1. What is my intention?

Any discipline or action that doesn’t come from a place of love is likely abuse. Before judging others, you have to do a motivation check. You may be wondering what a motivation check is? Simply put, a motivation check is determining if you are judging others for the positive or negative reasons.

For instance, a positive intention will be to lift or build others up. Whereas, a negative intention will be to destroy the reputation, confidence or credibility of others. On that note, whenever your goal is to condemn or deprecate others then you just need to mind your business.

It’s important to examine our own motives when we’re addressing others. Are we twisting the “law” in an attempt to condemn someone else? Are we pure-hearted in what we’re doing? – Abby Rike (rockthis.org)

2. What is my responsibility?

Next, you need to ask yourself what your responsibility is. Do you think you have any role to play to make things better or easier before judging others? Perhaps others can use your advice, honest feedback or support.

Before giving your verdict, reflect on this – your responsibility may be to inspire others to be the light to others. After all, you may not have the onus to judge everyone you come across. What if you’re meant to show others the way by being a good example.

In essence, your responsibility is more important than your opinion in most situations.

Before You Proceed, check out this video from Oprah’s Life Class:

3. Who am I to Judge?

Unfortunately, you may have crucified others without knowing the full story. Even if you know the full story, are you in the right position to judge? Have you been through the same pain? Have you experienced the same rejection that the people you are judging faced? How do you know you have more discipline, perseverance and tolerance if you have never been walked in the same path?

Are you judgmental? Ask These before Judging Others

Interestingly, some of us judge others for what we are currently struggling with right now.

In the past, you may have said: ” I will never raise my kids like that.” But now you have kids, you are raising your kids the exact same way you said never to.

4. How can I help?

Are you seeing other people’s situation with the right amount of compassion and understanding? The truth is that if you really care, you’ll find a way to help. Instead of being judgmental, dare yourself to find ways to help. Possibly, your help can go a long way to strengthen others. Or lighten the burden of others. Lest you forget, the world is always full of people that need your help.

For as much as you can, assess any given situation and look for ways to lend a helping hand.

“It’s easy to judge, but much more difficult to serve.” 
― Orrin Woodward

Can You Help Before Judging Others?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  1. Asking yourself these 4 questions will help you avoid nailing others to the cross too soon.
  2. By asking these 4 questions, you are holding yourself accountable before judging others
  3. You will always be tempted to judge others but asking yourself the 4 questions discussed will help you know when to pass judgement.
  4. Judging others say a lot about and not the people you are judging. It’s all about how you perceive yourself.
  5. Judging others in itself is not bad except when you have malicious intentions, lack compassion and are unwilling to help.
  6. Rather than judge others when you can’t answer the 4 questions above, do this instead: assess. In other words, assume nothing but assess everything.

Over to You!

Expressing yourself matters. So, feel free to share your thoughts, experience and opinion on judging others. Also, if you are yet to subscribe, do not hesitate to do so now to avoid missing out on receiving empowering and life-changing tips in your inbox!

Thank you for reading 🙂 

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