No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to see all your angles at once through a single mirror. Particularly, when it comes to your performance, you will need more than one view point. Hence, feedback is very necessary. But more importantly an honest feedback. Naturally, giving or receiving honest feedback can make many people very uncomfortable. Are you willing to hear about your strengths, limitations, areas of improvement and vulnerabilities from another person’s point of view? If your answer is ‘yes’, then by the time you are done reading this, you will discover how to get honest feedback from others.

Why Should You Get Honest Feedback from Others?

The reason to get honest feedback from others is to help you learn and become a better version of yourself. Moreover, soliciting for honest feedback or constructive criticism helps strengthen your relationship with others. Especially in intimate relationships, honest feedback from your significant other helps increase the bond of intimacy. Also, by getting honest feedback you position yourself to understand your greatest needs for development.

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“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” – Ken Blanchard

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It has been said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It fuels and recharges your body in the morning after starving all night. Likewise, feedback is a fuel that runs the engine of your life. In life, if you play blind to feedback you will pay a huge sum for it. Remember when you were your childhood days? Any memory of some resounding statements you heard from your parents about you? Perhaps you heard: “stand up straight” , “raise your feet while walking“, “be slow to anger“, “don’t yell at people” etc. While most of these resounding words you heard came as warnings to you or felt unpleasant, they were all honest feedback. Indeed, only people who care about you can give you honest feedback.

Again, the honest feedback you received from your parents and loved ones helped shape what you have become today. Therefore, it is undeniable that people who shy away from getting honest feedback always fail to reach greater heights in life.

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Getting Honest Feedback From Others:

1. Be Open-minded

There is nothing wrong with other people having a particular view of you or your performance. As humans, we interact based on how we perceive things. Meaning that perception is everything. As a result, you will really need to adopt an open-minded approach when you are seeking out feedback from others. Under no circumstances should you be asking for feedback and holding strongly onto an expected view of yourself. To be effective at getting feedback, you should be completely open to exploring other people’s account of your work, effort or performance.

At all cost, avoid being combative or defensive when receiving feedback because your actions could prohibit an honest feedback from others. It is important to realize that people are encouraged to give honest feedback to those who are completely open to them. Consequently, be open to change and avoid self-sabotaging behaviors when getting feedback. Endeavor to be receptive even when the message you are receiving is not suitable to you.

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“Examine what is said and not who speaks.”
– African proverb

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2. Be Curious About Yourself

How keen are you to know more about yourself? Does your effort, result or performance matter to you? You need to be motivated about becoming the best version of yourself. By becoming the most interested person about yourself, you become the most interesting person.

Undoubtedly, there is always plenty of unspoken information about you that you need to uncover when soliciting feedback. The more curious you are to know the hidden information people are holding back, the more honest the feedback you receive will be.

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 “I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.”
– Elon Musk

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3. Ask the Right Questions

Certainly there are questions you can ask others to open them up and give you an honest feedback. A lot of people often get stuck asking the wrong questions thereby not getting an honest feedback. Also, your questions should be non-threatening to the person giving you the feedback. Interestingly, some people ask others questions expecting to get a response that makes them feel good. You should avoid asking ‘feel-good’ questions when you actually need a ‘kick-in-the-pants’ feedback.

In essence, be clear and specific about what you’re asking for. Don’t ask questions that indicate your need for a little motivation when you’re looking for a brutally honest feedback. Instead, ask questions that compel others to give you an honest feedback. More so, if you are looking for input on how you can be a star performer don’t just ask to know the things you’re doing well. Obviously, the things you’re doing well have not given you the results you desire. Consider asking how and what you should be doing for a stellar performance. For instance, don’t ask ‘what did I do well?’ when you need to hear a response to ‘how could I do better?’ or ‘what else could I do better?’ People can only help you when they know exactly what you want.

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4. Listen Attentively

The truth is that every bad listener is more interested in their own thoughts and ideas than they are in the feedback they are seeking. So, if you are more interested in things you are so certain about instead of what the other person has to say, then you will never listen attentively. The key to getting honest feedback is to be genuinely interested in listening more attentively.

Unfortunately, many people struggle with listening attentively because they fail to understand the value in listening more. In fact, there is a very good article on why you should listen more than you talk. Be sure to check it out. The quality of your listening matters. Therefore, pay attention and try to get inside the head of the person you are getting feedback from.

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“Why did God give me two ears and one mouth? So that I will hear more and talk less.”
– Leo Rosten

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5. Reflect

Whenever you receive an honest feedback from others, you need to reflect. For instance, review the main points of the feedback you received. Then ask yourself how you can use the feedback in the future. You can reflect on the feedback you have received by rehearsing and restating the feedback to whoever is dishing it out. A lot of times, openly introspecting on the feedback makes the person giving you the feedback take you more seriously. Also, reflecting on the feedback helps you gain more clarity on your performance.

By reflecting, you are thinking about how you can use the feedback. During your reflection on feedback received, you can ask your reviewer for help creating an action plan. The action plan you create together with your reviewer will help you improve your performance or build upon your strengths. Apparently, experts have suggested that by practicing reflection after feedback, you can learn how to think on your feet during an experience.

6. Acknowledge

If someone has taken their time to give you a sincere feedback, you have to acknowledge that person. Giving a sincere feedback is difficult and could make the person giving the feedback feel uncomfortable. Thus, it is your job to show gratitude for the feedback you have received regardless of how the feedback made you feel. Consequently, your acknowledgement of the honest feedback encourages your continuous reception of future honest feedback from your reviewer. By all means, always find a way to reciprocate the feedback you receive. When you develop of reputation of being grateful for honest feedback, you chances of receiving honest feedback increases.

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“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
– Bill Gates

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Above all, an honest feedback will always equip you with knowledge of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Always try to get honest feedback from your peers, colleagues, significant other and mentors. And do not forget to treat an honest feedback as gold.

Your opinion matters. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences. And do not fail to highlight your experiences and perspective to help others.

Also, if you have picked up a beneficial insight from reading this, do not hesitate to share this with your friends and those who care about you. Before you leave, remember to subscribe if you haven’t to avoid missing out on empowering articles in the future.

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