Are you a people-pleaser? Do you find yourself going outside your comfort zone to please everyone? How has your decision to please everyone worked out for you so far? Unfortunately, a growing number of people are becoming extremely stressed trying pleasing everyone. The truth is that you can never please everyone, so don’t even bother yourself trying.
People will always talk no matter what you do. You can walk a thousand mile on broken knees to please everyone, yet someone will still not be pleased. In fact, someone will blame you for walking too slow or wasting time.
Why Ditch Your Desire to Please Everyone?
If you are plagued with the desire to please everyone, here are a few reasons to kill your desire to please everyone:
- Everyone and their dog has an opinion.
- There will always be haters no matter what you do.
- You lose yourself quickly because pleasing everyone leaves you miserable and stressed all the time.
- People will always take advantage of you.
- And much more.
This Story Will Blow Your Mind…
A man and his wife decided to take their donkey to the market. On their way to the market, they passed a farmer who mocked them and said they were foolish. The farmer ridiculed them for not riding the donkey to make their trip easier. So, the man decided to let his wife ride the donkey. After a short distance, they passed a second farmer who laughed at the man for walking while his wife rode the donkey. Then, the man’s wife got off the donkey and her husband rode the donkey.
The man rode the donkey for a few miles and met a third farmer who scolded him for riding the donkey while his wife walked. At this point, the man decided to ride donkey with his wife. Just a couple miles in, they passed a fourth farmer who criticized them for being inconsiderate to the donkey. Actually, the fourth farmer explained to them how the donkey was being overloaded. Not knowing what else to do, the man resolved with his wife to pick up the donkey and carry it to the market on their shoulders.
Upon arrival to the market, all the people that saw them carrying the donkey laughed and made fun of them. This left the man and his wife angry, disappointed and ashamed. In essence, no matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone.
In their quest to please everyone they passed on their journey to the market, the man and his wife were left unhappy.
“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” – Ed Sheeran
Struggling with the desire to please everyone?
Here are some rules you need to abide by if you’re struggling with the desire to please everyone:
1. Put yourself first
As long as you are not hurting anyone, put yourself first. Endeavor to be self-aware yet unselfish to avoid having life sucked out of you. Provided that you are acting in good faith, consider your satisfaction and happiness first. Often times, choosing to put others first at the expense of your happiness will lead you to dejection and depression.
Besides, when you fail to put yourself first because you want to please everyone, you will end up feeling the guilt and consequence of ignoring yourself. You deserve to live a happy life. And putting your self-care, self-love and self- improvement first will boost your happiness. Do not forget, your happiness comes first.
Apparently, people-pleasers devote very little or no time to their own health and well-being. No matter what, do not neglect yourself -your finances, emotional, physical and mental health- to please everyone around you. Remember, you cannot pour out of an empty cup. In other words, you can only give what you have. So, take good care of yourself and replenish yourself to enable your strength to serve others better.
“The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there’s always at least one person who will remain unhappy. You.” – Elizabeth Parker
2. Learn to say ‘No’
Perhaps you are one of those who finds it so difficult to say ‘no’ to others? Starting from today, learn to say ‘no’ to people. And absolutely stand by your ‘no’. It is important to understand that saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Indeed, saying ‘no’ to people and things that seek your time and attention gives you the ability to deliver your best to please a selected few.
You are born with limited amount of time and attention that only a few things or people can get at. Thus, you will need to prioritize who and what gets your attention.
Since everyone has a different perspective and ideology of what pleases them, prioritizing who you give your time and attention is crucial. Whenever you prioritize who gets your time and attention, you are more productive with your life.
More so, you need to understand that saying no will come with people resenting you and feeling disappointed. Specifically, those that have always received your help in one way or another. At any rate, do not be affected by the negative feelings of others when you say no. It is perfectly okay for others to feel bad when you say no. At all times, your ‘no’ should mean ‘no’.
“If you try to please all, you please none.” – Aesop
3. Be Real to Yourself
Most times, pleasing everyone stems from your need to be liked or accepted by others. By being real to yourself, you understand your limitations and strengths. As a result, you will not let other people walk all over you. In your quest to please everyone and be accepted, you will be overwhelmed emotionally and mentally. This is because it is never your job to meet everyone’s needs.
For as much as you can, desist from faking yourself to please everyone. It is not necessary for you to become who you are not just to please others. Also, ensure that all you do for others comes naturally from your heart instead of influence or pressure from others.
You are perfect even with all your insecurities. Be satisfied with who you are -including your looks and your background. So, get rid of your self-doubt and be content with you who are. Overall, you will discover that when you start being real to yourself, other people’s opinion will no longer affect your life negatively.
“If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself” – Jocelyn Murray
Before you leave…
Ultimately, trying to please everyone is a never ending game in which you are never going to win. Just realize that people will always be people. Meaning that you need to understand that people have different personalities and expectations. Hence, it is extremely impossible to meet all the expectations of the people you come in contact with. Therefore, you should never try to please everyone. The people who truly love, care for and support you will appreciate you regardless.
Now, if you have any comments, experiences or ideas you would like to share, please feel free to do so. And do not hesitate to share this with your friends and loved ones struggling to please everyone.
One more thing, to avoid missing out on more life-changing and empowering articles, make sure you subscribe.
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